This day is most memorable in every one's life. Tamil Brahmin wedding - day starts with Mangala Snanam. Athai is the most preferred person to do this. Next choice would be Maami. The bride and groom's family does this for them separately. Basically they are made to sit in a Manai palaga which was decorated with Kolam and then offer Santhanam and Kumkum to them. Then gingely oil is applied on their head. They need to then have bath.
Before this event, Athai of the Bride has to give Appa koodai. This includes appam, a mirror, Betal leaves and nuts. This is accompanied by Toilet items which we call as Pal theikkara Bakshanam. This includes Soap for taking bath, Shaving set items, towel, Powder, Comb etc., Parijaragan (cooking assistant) has to place a tub filled with warm water for taking bath. Believe this was a habit in those days where marriage is performed in home itself combining few more houses in the same town or village.
Once this is done, 5 Sumangalis wearing Madisaar should be prepared with the below mentioned Brass vessels.
1. Pithalai Sombu - 2
2. Pithalai Adukku - 1
3. Kuthu Vilakku - 1
4. Pithalai Padi - 1
The Sumangalis usually include the Bride and the groom's mom, Maami and athai. The first one and the last one has to take the Sombu filled with Water, the second one has to Lit the Kuthu Vilakku (the upper half portion of the lamp alone) and place it inside the Adukku, the Padi to be filled with Paddy and a coconut on top and then one more person with the Sombu filled with Water. These 5 ladies are already informed in advance by both families. The 5 ladies in inclusive of both Bride and bride groom's family. They have to go around the Swing thrice. The first and last one has to slowly spread the water while going around the Swing. At the end Aarthi is taken for the bride and the groom with the left over Rice balls mixed in water. This Ritual is also guided by the Saastrigal. So you may just be prepared with the Pachapidi saaman ( which the marriage contractors take care) and Sumangalis to do this Ritual. The below picture depicts how the adukku need to be held during this occasion.
Then the bride and groom are taken to the stage where the marriage is proposed to happen. The Saastrigal again takes care of the Rituals to be conducted which includes Kannigaa dhanam. While Kanniga Dhaanam takes place the Kothram of the bride is changed to that of the groom.
Then the koorai pudavai is offered to the bride and she is accompanied by the to be sister in law to drape the 9 yards saree. When she is back wearing the 9 yards saree then Maangalya Dharanam takes place. The slogas or the Mantras all carry lot of meaning which I heard in one of the marriages was explained well by the Sastrigal. While marrying the groom and the bride agree to be supporting each other throughout the rest of the life. Be it any situation they agree to will handhold each other.
The Sastrigal also explained that Mangalya dharanam is not part of marriage before several decades. However this is the announcement that the groom is making to those who witness the marriage that he is now marrying the bride and accepting her as life partner. This is done while the bride sits on the lap of her father. The first knot is made by the groom and the other two knots are made by the sister in law.
Once the marriage is done, Sastrigal advises us not to hand shake with the couple till the Sapthapathy is completed.
Now both the families has to give Paladhanam to each other's family members. This includes a set of Betal leaves and nuts, a Banana, Sandanam and Kumkum, a small amount of cash which can even be a Re. 1/-. This is given to the family members both gents and ladies.
While Sastrigal takes care of the the other rituals, you may now start treating the guests with Lunch and offer them the return gift and Bakshanam.
The brother of Bride should be now made available for the Pori idara function. When he performs this, the Groom's family honors him with a golden Ring. If it is not affordable, a small amount of cash can also be offered.
The sister of the groom who tied the two knots of the Maangalyam is also honored with Saree as a token of love and thanks.
Ensure that the Parents of the bride and groom and the bride and groom themselves observe fasting till all the Rituals are completed.
Badhil Mariyadhai to the sampandhi's is also important. Saree and Dhothi are purchased for each other which we call as Badhil mariyadhai.
Maami will help in wearing the toe rings (metti) for the bride.
Once the Sastrigal confirms that the rituals are all done, the guests can come over and start blessing the newly married couple.
I will write the event of Nalungu in a separate post since I think this is a lengthy one.
Before this event, Athai of the Bride has to give Appa koodai. This includes appam, a mirror, Betal leaves and nuts. This is accompanied by Toilet items which we call as Pal theikkara Bakshanam. This includes Soap for taking bath, Shaving set items, towel, Powder, Comb etc., Parijaragan (cooking assistant) has to place a tub filled with warm water for taking bath. Believe this was a habit in those days where marriage is performed in home itself combining few more houses in the same town or village.
The groom has to be prepared for the Kasi Yathirai now. The Bride's family will keep the umbrella, Bagavat gita book, Hand fan and Chappals ready for this occasion. The brother of the Bride accompanies the groom and lift the umbrella for him.
When the bride and groom proceed for the kaasi yaatra occasion they have to wear the garlands. This is usually done by their respective Maternal uncle.
Paternal Aunt of the groom applies Kaajal (kan mai) to the groom on the cheeks.
The groom then walks towards the out gate starting his journey to Kaasi. We need to be prepared with the mentioned items for this occasion. The bride should be prepared with the dressing and come forward to proceed with the exchange of the garlands. The bride should now wear a six yards saree purchased for Uunjal function. This saree is usually gifted by the maternal uncle. It is also a practice that the Uncle gift Metti to be worn after marriage and a Neli modhiram (finger ring). The bride's father interrupt and ask him to come back and marry his daughter. The groom then accepts the offer and return back.
All these rituals are supported by the Sastrigal himself. The groom now holds the hand of Bride which is called as Paanigrahanam. The Saastrigal explained this clearly during the wedding. Paani means Hand. Grahanam means hold (patrudhal in tamil). So the occasion of holding the hands of bride is called as Paanigrahanam.
Exchanging of garlands is a very interesting occasion which everyone enjoys. Maternal Uncle of the bride and the groom supports them in exchanging the garlands. The bride and the groom challenges each other before accepting the garland. They are lifted by the Uncle in their shoulders making it a challenge for the other one. Have heard that those days when the bride and groom are too young these are done to make them have fun. Maalai Saatrinal Kothai Malai Matrinal is a famous song sung during this occasion.
Then the groom holds the hands of the bride and proceeds towards the Uunjal. Now the singers of the family should be prepared to sing Uunjal songs which is a super hit in our family. Kannunjal aadi irundhal and Seetha kalyana Vaibogame are famous songs sung during this occasion. My cousins are super veterans in singing and they fill every marriage in our family with super good songs that we cherish for ever.
While the singing is happening the Palum pazhamum is offered to the bride and groom. Those days we used to have hand towels ready to swipe the hands. Nowadays small handy silver cups are bought and used to have the palum pazhamum. The Maami and Athai are the most important people who need to mandatorily do this. Mom's and other elders also need to do this. The first one to start this is the groom's mom followed by the Bride's mom. Then maami, athai and other elders. They need to wear madisaar while performing this ritual. First they need to dip their thumbs in milk kept in the cup and apply on the foot of the bride and groom thrice. Then wipe the same using the Saree Pallu. Then they offer the milk and plantain fruit mixer to the to be couple thrice. The Maami or Athai of the bride does this first to the Groom and vice versa.
Once this is done then comes the hilarious Pachapidi ritual. This is basically to remove the dhristhi to the young to be couple. Rice balls in Red and yellow colors are kept ready for this function. Again the same elders have to perform this ritual. Usually, 5, 7, 9 or 11 Sumangalis are expected to do both these rituals. The plate in which the Rice balls are kept need to be rotated thrice clock wise and anti clock wise facing the to be couple. Then one by one the rice balls are picked and again rotate thrice as above. First ball to be thrown on the east, west, south and North directions respectively. these balls fall on those who stands on the sides at times. We used to have fun during this event when the Rice balls hit some one's head or while the ladies target some one purely for fun.
Once this is done then comes the hilarious Pachapidi ritual. This is basically to remove the dhristhi to the young to be couple. Rice balls in Red and yellow colors are kept ready for this function. Again the same elders have to perform this ritual. Usually, 5, 7, 9 or 11 Sumangalis are expected to do both these rituals. The plate in which the Rice balls are kept need to be rotated thrice clock wise and anti clock wise facing the to be couple. Then one by one the rice balls are picked and again rotate thrice as above. First ball to be thrown on the east, west, south and North directions respectively. these balls fall on those who stands on the sides at times. We used to have fun during this event when the Rice balls hit some one's head or while the ladies target some one purely for fun.
Once this is done, 5 Sumangalis wearing Madisaar should be prepared with the below mentioned Brass vessels.
1. Pithalai Sombu - 2
2. Pithalai Adukku - 1
3. Kuthu Vilakku - 1
4. Pithalai Padi - 1
The Sumangalis usually include the Bride and the groom's mom, Maami and athai. The first one and the last one has to take the Sombu filled with Water, the second one has to Lit the Kuthu Vilakku (the upper half portion of the lamp alone) and place it inside the Adukku, the Padi to be filled with Paddy and a coconut on top and then one more person with the Sombu filled with Water. These 5 ladies are already informed in advance by both families. The 5 ladies in inclusive of both Bride and bride groom's family. They have to go around the Swing thrice. The first and last one has to slowly spread the water while going around the Swing. At the end Aarthi is taken for the bride and the groom with the left over Rice balls mixed in water. This Ritual is also guided by the Saastrigal. So you may just be prepared with the Pachapidi saaman ( which the marriage contractors take care) and Sumangalis to do this Ritual. The below picture depicts how the adukku need to be held during this occasion.
Then the bride and groom are taken to the stage where the marriage is proposed to happen. The Saastrigal again takes care of the Rituals to be conducted which includes Kannigaa dhanam. While Kanniga Dhaanam takes place the Kothram of the bride is changed to that of the groom.
Then the koorai pudavai is offered to the bride and she is accompanied by the to be sister in law to drape the 9 yards saree. When she is back wearing the 9 yards saree then Maangalya Dharanam takes place. The slogas or the Mantras all carry lot of meaning which I heard in one of the marriages was explained well by the Sastrigal. While marrying the groom and the bride agree to be supporting each other throughout the rest of the life. Be it any situation they agree to will handhold each other.
The Sastrigal also explained that Mangalya dharanam is not part of marriage before several decades. However this is the announcement that the groom is making to those who witness the marriage that he is now marrying the bride and accepting her as life partner. This is done while the bride sits on the lap of her father. The first knot is made by the groom and the other two knots are made by the sister in law.
Once the marriage is done, Sastrigal advises us not to hand shake with the couple till the Sapthapathy is completed.
Now both the families has to give Paladhanam to each other's family members. This includes a set of Betal leaves and nuts, a Banana, Sandanam and Kumkum, a small amount of cash which can even be a Re. 1/-. This is given to the family members both gents and ladies.
While Sastrigal takes care of the the other rituals, you may now start treating the guests with Lunch and offer them the return gift and Bakshanam.
The brother of Bride should be now made available for the Pori idara function. When he performs this, the Groom's family honors him with a golden Ring. If it is not affordable, a small amount of cash can also be offered.
The sister of the groom who tied the two knots of the Maangalyam is also honored with Saree as a token of love and thanks.
Ensure that the Parents of the bride and groom and the bride and groom themselves observe fasting till all the Rituals are completed.
Badhil Mariyadhai to the sampandhi's is also important. Saree and Dhothi are purchased for each other which we call as Badhil mariyadhai.
Maami will help in wearing the toe rings (metti) for the bride.
Once the Sastrigal confirms that the rituals are all done, the guests can come over and start blessing the newly married couple.
I will write the event of Nalungu in a separate post since I think this is a lengthy one.
