Postnatal care of Woman

In continuation to one my previous posts about Taking care of a pregnant woman, I want to share few traditional practices about taking care of a woman after delivery.  Since the woman had undergone a major change in her Physic, it would take few months for her to come back to normalcy. Same time she has to take care of the infant in terms of feeding, going through sleepless nights, etc; it is essential to offer the woman with some healthy tips. This helps her to take care of her health and the infant. Since the infant takes the mother’s feed as the primary food for at least three months, the food consumed by the mother is very important.

Traditionally, post natal care starts immediately after the delivery happens. The grandmother needs to be prepared before delivery by collecting the things that are required.  The items need to be used for pathiya samayal are usually available in Naattu marundu Kadai.

A pinch of Kasturi is placed in a Betal leaf and provided to the woman who delivered the child. This is given within 24 hours of delivery. Sometimes if the delivery happens to be a C-section then we cannot give it immediately. Hence the timeline is usually within 24hours. It is believed that the mother will not develop seizures if she consumes the Kasturi.

When the Doctor allows the woman to take food, we start the traditional method of Pathiya samayal. This does not include much of Tamarind, Brinjal, Root vegeatables that develop gastric related problems/Alergy. Inclusion of garlic is very much recommended since it helps in feeding.

My mom used to sauté Garlic and onions with little pepper and salt in Gingely oil. This is provided during lunch before the normal food. Hot Rice is mixed with this and consumed every day. This also improves feeding and reduces the heat of the body. Most importantly, my grandmother do not allow anyone to serve food for the woman who underwent the delivery. In fact, food is always served separately, without the knowledge of anyone in the house.

The Paithiya samaiyal includes Poricha koottu without Coconut and including pepper, Poricha Rasam, Paruppu Thogaiyal, Milagu Kulambu, Sutta Appalam, Angaya podi etc. Food does not include/ less amount of toor dhal at least for 60 days since it is believed that, gas related issues will crop up.

Ghee is also one of the most recommended items that are added in food. Betal leaves are also highly recommended to be chewed on a daily basis since it is rich in calcium that is required for the woman and the baby at this stage.

Legiyam is provided from the day of Punniyavachanam and milk is recommended on a daily basis. This legiyam is readily available in shops nowadays. This is popularly known as Diwali Marundhu or Pillaipetha legiyam. You can also visit this page to prepare this simple version of Legiyam at home.

Every time before feeding the Baby, drink good amount of water. This helps in better feeding. Ensure to take one glass of water before feeding. 

Both mom and child should take oil bath alternate days. Mom is advised to use Kasturi manjal while bathing since it is used as a anti disinfectant. 

After 60 days Mom can start taking normal food slowly and monitor health conditions for any abnormal behavior of some food. However, feeding mothers should avoid Jackfruit, Mangoes, outside food to avoid any impact to the baby consuming mother’s milk.

I will share few ideas about infant care in my next post. 

Karadaiyan Nonbu

The day when the Tamil month of Panguni starts we observe Karadaiyan Nonbu. The time when this Nonbu is performed is at the time when Maasi Month expires and Panguni starts. Unlike Varalakshmi Nonbu which is celebrated by people who have this practice in their family, this is undertaken by all ladies. 

The reason behind performing this ritual is unique.  It is believed that Savithri a woman in historical time fought with Lord Yama and got her Husband Satyavan’s life back from death. She prayed goddess Gowri and offered Adai made with rice and Karamani along with butter. Hence this Karadai is still been prepared during the Nonbu and offered to goddess during prayer.

This year the time to tie the Nonbu Saradu is between 5.20 to 5.30 in the morning. At times the time when both months meet happen during late night. Ladies still undergo fasting complete the Nonbu and then finish their fasting by having the Nonbu Adai

Sumangalis take head bath, wrap Madisaar Saree (Preferably Madi) and perform Kamakshi pooja. Before starting the Pooja the Neivedhyam is prepared and kept ready. Also Betal leaves, Betal nuts, flowers for pooja and Sumangalis, Banana Leaves with Nuni are bought for the Pooja.

Kolam should be drawn facing east/west. When there is only one woman do not put one kolam and do the offering. One pair of offering is preferred. Definitely, three numbers are not engaged. Two Sweet Adai will be kept on the Nuni Ilai and one spoon of Butter. The Manjal Saradu (Rope) is tied with Pasumanjal and/or Flowers and kept ready. One in front of Goddess along with Betal Leaves, Betal Nuts, flowers, Fruits (Banana), Coconut and one Saradu is placed for the Goddess.

After Performing the Pooja, we have to do Neivedhyam of Adai placed on the leaves and then tie the rope around the neck. If husband is available at the time of Pooja, preferably husband ties that Saradu to his wife. If not, do it on your own or if unmarried your mom shall help you. Tie the Saradu kept for Goddess on the Idol or the Photo.

When you perform the Neivedhyam below is the prayer that Sumangalis used to tell.

“ Urugaadha Vennaiyum Oor Adaiyum Naan Tharuven, Orukalum En Kanavan Ennai Vittu Piriyadhirukka vendum”

Two pieces of adai placed in the Banana Leaf are shared between husband and wife.

Especially, Sumangalis do not take Butter milk as part of fasting.

Next day minimum one adai is kept and offered for the cow.  Cow is worshiped by applying Kumkum and Turmeric on the back of it. 

Visit to Kula deivam Kovil /Family Deity

We recently visited our Kuladeivam Kovil near Mayiladuthurai.  It is a small village near Mayiladuthurai where there are no shops in the near Vicinity. We used to visit the temple at least once in a year.  We perform Abishekam, Archanai and offer Maavilakku to goddess Mariyamman in the temple.  Our Kuladeivam is “Putradiyal” where the goddess is said to be raised as Swayambu.  A priest (Gurukkal)  residing in the nearby village is taking care of the daily Pooja at the temple. We used inform him in advance and check his availability. We buy all the necessary things for the Abishegam and Gurukkal prepare the Prasadham from his home.  

Usually, when a function like Marriage, Upanayanam, children pursuing higher education, Grahapravesam is due we visit the temple first and do the rituals to ensure everything goes well with the Blessings of god.

Most families does the first time hair removal for the child in their Kuladeivam temple. 

I have heard and read about the importance of the worship of Kuladeivam and am now happily performing the rituals once in a year. If your Kuladeivam is close to your city of residence you are lucky enough to visit frequently.

I want to share the list of things to be bought for the Abhishegam so that nothing is missed. My mom maintains a notebook that includes all the details.  

        1.    Turmeric Powder

        2.     Kumkum

        3.    Dhiraviya podi

        4.   Sandal powder

        5.  Gingelly oil

        6.  Milk/Pasum Paal

        7. Curd

        8. Tender Coconut

        9.  Honey

      10.   Rose water

      11.   Fruits to prepare Panchamirtham (Apple, Banana, grapes, Dates, Dry grapes, Pomegranate, Sweet       Lemon and any other fruit of that season. Cut the fruits and add Nattusakkarai and Honey
          and mix it to prepare Panchamirtham.)

       12.  Lemon

After Abhishegam, the god/goddess will be dressed up with New Cloths, Flowers and Garlands specially bought for the occasion. By the time the Alankaram is going on, we can prepare to offer the Maavilakku. Read my post about Maavilakku to complete this ritual. 

Listed below are the rest of the things that we have to buy.

1.       Banana Leaves for offering Maavilakku

2.       Betal Leaves and Paakku

3.       Banana for offering (Neivedyam)

4.       Coconut 2 (Archanai and Maavilakku)

5.       Saree or Dhothi to God or Goddess

6.       Camphor and Plate to shower Aarthi

7.       Agarpathi

8.       Garland to God

9.       Flowers (For Archanai and to decorate Maavilakku)

10.   Panchapathiram and Udhruni to perform Neivedhyam

11.   One vessel to prepare Panchamirtham

12.   Two Big Plates to place the things

13.   Scissors to cut flowers

14.   Knife to cut fruits

After the Alankaram is over, lit the Maavilakku and allow it to glow for some time. Ensure enough Ghee is available in the vilakku. At the end of the Archanai and Dharshan which usually takes 15 minutes perform Neivedhyam and show the Karpoora Aarthi.  Then move the Leaves in which Maavilakku is placed towards North direction slightly to confirm that the ritual is completed. Both the Stings need to be picked carefully and placed in the lamp lit in the temple. I used the bottom side of the Udhruni to do this. That was quite easy.

Some people, who live in abroad may not be able to purchase all those required. They can arrange everything with the help of Gurukkal who takes care of the Pooja. My MIL insists to go to Kuladeivam Kovil straight after starting from Home. Heard the same from few elders too. Complete the rituals in your Kuladeivam Kovil first and then visit any other temples.

People who have their Kuladeivam as Palani Murugan, Thirupathi Venkatachalapathy etc can visit the temple and donate to the Devasthanam as per the temple rules.

Traditional methods of taking care of Pregnant Woman

Taking care of a pregnant woman is a very important and crucial task those days. Since delivery is taken care at home, the period prior to delivery also has the same importance as postnatal period. My periamma worked as a trained staff conducting delivery at home. She shared her experience with me. Also she has to take care of her younger sisters, after her mother’s demise.  Her services were extended to the next generation as well, even though the delivery was conducted at Hospital. I am also one among those who enjoyed her pre and post natal care.

Usually, the next of Seemandham the pregnant woman travels to her mother’s home and stay there till 3^rd month after delivery. This is traditionally followed allowing the pregnant woman to enjoy the warmth of her mother. Nowadays, if the pregnant woman happens to be in other country, Parents travel all the way to the daughter’s place and conduct all the rituals, stay with them for few months and follow our traditional way of parenting during pregnancy. 

Jeera kashayam (Cumin) is most important and it is provided to the pregnant woman to reduce the warmth of the body.  This is provided from the 9^th month of pregnancy.  This is preferably consumed during the morning before breakfast.

1 Tea spoon of Sombu and Jeeragam (Fennel & Cumin seeds) should be roasted till golden brown and pour 1 & ½ cup water. Boil till it comes half cup.  Add panakalkandu (optional) and filter the water. Then add 1 teaspoon of butter to the syrup. The syrup is ready to be consumed.

When the pregnant woman experience pain, this kashaayam is given. If the pain settles down, it is believed to be false pain. If the pain gets severe, then it is time to make preparations to take her to the hospital.

Kodhi kanchi is also prepared and consumed from the 5^th month of pregnancy. Wash the rice and add water to cook. Then place it on the stove and let it boil. When the water starts boiling and observes the light while color of rice, take ½ cup of water and add 1 Teaspoon of butter and consume when it is warm. This is also consumed to reduce the heat that develops during pregnancy.  

And during pregnancy, the woman experiences back pain. Elders advice to apply oil in the hip and pour hot water in bearable heat during the evening. This enables the bones to relax and increase flexibility that enables for easy delivery.

Usually, no new dresses or things that are required for the child are purchased before the baby is born. A used dress of an infant in our family is safely kept and used when the new baby is born.  Mine was also kept safely by my Mom and used after 20 years.  It is believed that the newly born infant also grows with health and wealth as of the grown one. 

Namakaranam / Punnyavachanam

After delivery, on the 11^th or 21^st day Punnyavachanam will be conducted. Usually after the postnatal period of the mother the function is performed to purify the House religiously. On this day, mother and the child has to take oil bath in the morning, before the Pandit come to conduct the function. The mother should not see the child and the husband with empty stomach after taking bath. Hence, a small pinch of salt and few strands of rice are provided after taking bath. The same day, the child will be given a name and this occasion is called as “Namakaranam”. In some occasions, due to various reasons the Punnyavachanam is conducted first and the Namakaranam is carried out on a later period. In some families, they do this Namakaranam during the 3^rd or 5^th month of the child. Both Mom and Child are eligible to go to Temple after the Punnyavachanam function.

New dresses are bought for the child, mother and father by the maternal grandmother and grandfather.  Sweets are prepared, friends and relatives are invited to attend the function and bless the infant. Paruppu thengai, Vethalai Pakku, Flowers, Fruits are also presented on the occasion.  Traditionally, the expenses incurred for Food on that day are born by the Child’s father. My mom accepted a small amount to satisfy my husband.  After performing the Pooja, the Pandit asks the Infant’s father and mother to utter the name on the right ear of the child. This is how the infant is officially named. Our ancestors have a belief of naming the child with the name of their grandfathers/grandmothers. However, since some of the family members do not want to utter the name of elders in front of them as a matter of respect, they started giving an alias name to the child. This alias name is usually used in the home.  The name officially announced by the Pandit in the function is called as Sharma name and used while performing religious functions or while doing Archanai in the temple. However, this Sharma name comes into effect after Upanayanam for male child. Few families have the habit of giving three names for the child. In my family, we have 4 girls with the same name since it is the name of my maternal grandmother. This goes well with my paternal grandmother’s name too.

The same day, the infant will be placed in a well decorated cradle and relatives used to sing songs. This function is usually conducted in the evening. Avoid using lot of flowers to decorate. The infant may not be able to bear strong odor of flowers. Nowadays, we started conducting this function in the morning itself at the end of Punnyavachanam and Namakaranam. The cradle is made of wood and usually not available in all houses. Some people used to preserve the cradles used by the elders in their family and allow their friends and relatives to use the same. This wooden cradle is used formally on this day and we are free to use the new ones available on stores.

In a plate, paddy is spreaded and the child's uncle used to write the name on the paddy. This is kept beneath the cradle. From this day onwards, we used to place Dhristhi pottu on the forehead and cheeks for the child. 

Paternal Aunty of the child buys Velli Kaappu (Kolusu/Thandai), Thanga Kaappu (golden Bangles) for the child. Aympon kaappu (5 metals) is also bought for the child. In turn, the child’s Aunty is gifted with a saree or some gift.  A small piece of the umbilical cord (thoppul kodi) is also preserved and kept inside the Thayathu and Tied in the black rope around the child’s waist along with Nai kasu preferably made of Seppu (Copper). This is applicable for both male and female babies. Additionally, for female babies Arasa Ilai is also tied. For male babies Thambi Thozhan is added. These are also available in Jewellery shops.

We prepare Sundal (preferably Black Channa) on this day and distribute to the relatives. A small bunch of sundal is tied in a plastic cover and kept on the corner of the cradle. Kaapparisi is also prepared and distributed to the invitees. 

After Seemantham and Delivery - Formalities

After the completion of the Seemantham function, the next day is considered to be an apt day for the woman to leave her spouse’s house and go to her Mom’s house for delivery. Even though the next calendar day is not that great, usually this day is considered suitable to start. Nowadays, since women also balance their career along with their house hold responsibilities, they do not start immediately after the next day of Seemantham. Hence an auspicious day is chosen to start from her MIL’s Home.

Before the pregnant woman leaves home she has to perform Namaskaran to the cooking stove. She should dip her hand with oil (if not fully slightly rub oil) and place a mark on the wall near the cooking stove. We believe that cooking stove is goddess Lakshmi. Hence it is a formal way of saying that she will leave her home for delivery and come back to take care of her responsibilities in her spouse’s house as a mother.

The pregnant woman while travelling has to carry some cooked food that includes salt. Usually a small portion of curd rice or idly is preferred. Believe this is required since, our grandpas and grandmas have to travel long hours to reach their home. This food would be useful while travelling. However, even though the mothers’ house is in the next street, this ritual is followed.

The pregnant woman should carry a small bunch of Veppaillai (Neem leaf) while traveling. This is usually followed, whenever the pregnant woman goes out of her house. This is also a must when she travels for delivery.

Most importantly, her husband should not come forward to send off when she leaves to her mom’s home for delivery.

After delivery, an auspicious day during the 3^rd or 5^th month (odd) is selected by elders, when she is coming back to her MIL’s home. If the Pregnant woman starts from her Mil’s house during the odd month, then travelling back also should be odd month and the same with even month as well.

Whoever is accompanying the infant and the mother while returning back to her MIL’s house after delivery should be honored with a small gift that is usually a Saree. This is considered as an honor to the Sampandhi for safely taking care of the mother and child during and after delivery.

I will share about the detailing of how to take care of a pregnant woman before delivery and the infant mother after delivery shortly. 

Amavasai

Amavasai/No moon day is considered to be the most auspicious day to perform rituals to our ancestors. On the day of Amavasai, we should take head bath (not oil bath) early in the morning. Kolam is not drawn on the entrance until the ritual of offering Tharpanam is completed. Children/elders  who have parents should not take head bath. None of the gents are allowed to shave beard. We should not cut nails/hair on that day.

This time Amavasai happening on Monday during the Tamil month of “Thai” adds more value to the auspiciousness. This day occurring tomorrow happens once in 32 years called as Mahodhaya Amavasai. My neighbor who is a senior Pandit explained me the significance of the day. Tomorrow (8-Feb-2016) is a Monday (Somavaram) combined with Thiruvonam Nakshatram and Vyathipaadham. People who have to perform Tharpanam used to go to river bank to perform this ritual. Tomorrow, by early morning during sunrise Tharpanam has to be performed once. After that once again usual Tharpanam is also performed.

Gents who have to perform Tharpanam should complete the ritual first preferably with the guidance of their Guru (Pandit of their family). This is to ensure that we offer at least a small value of fund to our Guru. After performing the Tharpanam, gents have to perform their regular Pooja whatever they usually do at home and Sandhiya vandanam. Female members will lit the lamp and draw Kolam as soon as the ritual is completed. Male members who have lost their father become eligible for doing Tharpanam. His spouse also has to undergo fasting on this day. Usually, as part of fasting, people skip breakfast. They consume lunch directly that is prepared without onion and garlic. Dinner was also skipped by most of the people. However, nowadays due to the work culture and health issues, we consume some simple food like idly, Oats Poridge, Upma or Dosa. The dinner is also prepared without onion and garlic.

In my grand fathers home, they prepare Paysam, Vadai, Thayir Pachadi, sambar, Rasam, Plaintain curry, (is a must on the day of Amavasai) and koottu. This heavy lunch fill their tummy thus enable them avoid the dinner.

Tomorrow being Thai Amavasai, Paruppu Payasam is prepared on the day and offered to god. Raw rice with black ellu (Ajwain seeds) is offered to the crow before we consume food. Refer my Pongal Festival Post for the list of vegetables that should not be used on this day.

Children are not allowed to undergo fasting on this day. Especially, those who have parents must ensure to have a small portion of Rice for dinner.

My perimma is here with me for few days. I heard that her grandma taught her a kolam that is drawn on the Pooja room on the no moon day. This Includes the pictorial representation of a Snake, Crab and a Sangu and they offer milk to god on the day. By offering the snake crab and milk, the belief is that their family members do not get to see the reptiles that ensure their safety.

My perimma was working in a small village where there is frequent roaming of Snakes. But by following the above ritual, she had never seen a snake nor disturbed. However, her companions at work while walking to work or coming back frequently get to see the reptiles.

On this Thai Amavasai that occurs on Monday, it is believed that offering to needy people, brings in loads of goodness to our family.

I was also advised to go to the nearest temple and round the Arasamaram ( Peepal tree) early in the morning.